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UpDating: How to Date Out of Your League, by Leil Lowndes
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You need a unique set of skills to get to the heart of your extraordinary mate
Following on the heels of Leil Lowndes's bestselling book How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, UpDating shows you how to attract a mate who once seemed out of your league. Written in her trademark straight-shooting style, Leil gives you techniques not found anywhere else, such as how to get:
- A Gorgeous Partner: Don't swoon too soon. Fabulous-looking folks actually like someone better when they seem unimpressed at first.
- A Wealthy, High-Class Partner: Decorate your home with class, not crass. You'll learn why a TV or the wrong type of carpeting in your living room can knock you out of the running. In fact, take the "How Classy Is Your Home?" quiz to see where your dwelling stands on the totem pole.
- A Principled Partner: Don't get caught in one teensy little white lie. One fib and your credibility goes out the door, and the potential mate with integrity soon follows.
- An Interesting, One-of-a-Kind Partner: Just don't do anything "normal." Leil shows you how to be a desirable "nut" who will win the hearts of those creative types.
Best of all, you'll learn to make the qualities you want in others become a part of your own life. You'll learn to like yourself better, and so will everyone else. And that's probably the biggest benefit of all.
- Sales Rank: #80719 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-08-05
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 335 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
162 of 169 people found the following review helpful.
An unintentionally hilarious guide to gold digging.
By Groovy Vegan
Want a wealthy mate? Here are some dos and don'ts from "Updating" by Leil Lowndes (LL):
* Get the National Geographic and Scientific American magazines off your coffee table! Those are middle class! Only display literary or foreign magazines. And forget about National Enquirer or Sports Illustrated-those are low class!
* Never wear bright colors! Red is a proletariat no-no! (Didn't anyone inform Nancy Reagan of this?) And natural fibers only, please. (Note - in the 21st century synthetic fibers don't exactly look like John Travolta's leisure suit in Saturday Night Fever.)
*Never wear a baseball cap or a tee shirt with writing on it. (I saw a picture of Bill Gates the other day wearing a baseball cap.)
*Never have a second hand on your watch. "The leisure class doesn't need to track seconds." page 118.
* Have a threadbare oriental rug in your living room and d�cor alluding to "Mother England"
*If you must lower yourself to owing a television, keep it hidden.
*"Royals" never use a euphemism such as "restroom" or "bathroom". Only use the word "toilet".
As you can probably tell from the above, LL is advising you on how to pass yourself off as an old money blue blood. She offers this as serious advice, but I find this chapter outrageously funny. She even gives you a quiz to tell how high class your living room is. (Subtract 3 points for each color photograph you display.)
I'm not sure that I, being of Eastern European Jewish ancestry, could successfully pass myself off as being blue blood, having been at Hebrew school when I should have been at the debutantes' ball. And someone of African ancestry might have even more trouble. Subtle (and some not so subtle) ethnic and regional prejudices abound in this book.
Another piece of advice on landing a wealthy mate is to move to a wealthy neighborhood. LL tells the story of a middle income gold digging friend who moved out of her nice apartment in Queens to an expensive neighborhood in Manhattan where she paid big bucks to rent a closet-size apartment. But a year or so later, the friend told the author she had good news that she could only deliver in person. So LL goes to her friend's new apartment which is the penthouse of the same building. Her friend had married the multi-millionaire art dealer she met in the elevator! Gold digging success! This gambit paid off handsomely for LL's friend, but if you don't meet your megabucks mate this way, oops! There goes your retirement money.
Any book on gold digging worth its ink should give advice on how to land new money! Afterall, is a gold digger fussy about whether she (or he) lands a nouveau rich Microsoft millionaire? But there's zero advice on how to land Bill Gates' single friends.
I don't want to mislead you into thinking this is only a gold digging manual, however. You also learn (chapter 3) "How to Find a Drop-Dead Gorgeous Mate". The trick here is to give no indication that you are swooning over them for their looks. Instead, feign (oops that was my word) an appreciation for their kind heart or integrity. Don't let on that you landed them for their looks.
The book rather implies that good looking and/or wealthy people are better specimens of humanity than the rest of us, although LL acknowledges that even beautiful people can have flaws. She gives the example that you're with your ho-hum (read average looking) date when you spot an extremely attractive stranger who smiles at you and dines alone. Well gosh dang it, you're stuck with a frog! LL recommends you give all frogs (and frogettes) their hopping papers to free yourself up for "royals". Frogs, according to the context of this book are anyone not rich enough, beautiful enough or otherwise not good enough for you. LL uses a bit of evolutionary biology to justify gold digging and looks-ism, see page 2 "Bugs and Beasts Are Smarter When Choosing a Mate." Afterall, animals choose mates based on looks and ability to bring food for the offspring.
There's also a bizarre chapter on "How to Capture a Magical One-of-a-Kind Mate" which is basically a quirky artist type with unusual sexual habits. Another seriously intended chapter I recommend only for entertainment value.
Ironically, after the chapter telling you how to pass yourself off as blue blood is the chapter, "How to Find an Honorable Mate," which preaches impeccable honesty at all times. It's one of only two chapters that in my opinion give good dating advice, if taken in isolation from rest of the book. The other bit of good advice is the section in the last chapter, "Be Careful What You Wish For (You Just Might Get It!). Here she quotes studies showing that finding your rich or beautiful partner might not make you happier! For instance, the former hippy chick who married a wealthy blue blood and lived in a mansion in the 'burbs with a maid, cook, and gardener. With no job and nothing to do, she turned to alcohol and drugs. Wow, so after writing a manual on gold digging and landing gorgeous people, LL tells you you might not want to be doing this after all! A fine unintentionally comic ending for a dating book that belongs in the humor section.
31 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
Wow, this book is terrific! It's a "10"
By William Cape
I thought Leil's "How to Make Anybody Fall in Love With You" was tops. But "Updating" is even better because it's not just how to make ANYBODY fall in love with you. She tells you where to hunt, and how to get, a spectacular partner.(Way out of your league?) What I like is that "one size doesn't fit all." In different sections, she gives you get realistic and researched techniques to win a different type of superior man or woman. Do you want someone who is:
1) Very rich?
2) Famous?
3) High class and discriminating?
4) Gorgeous?
5) Creative and interesting?
6) Ethical and honorable?
She tells you what type of person each is looking for, and why they respond to different approaches. "Updating " tells you where to find each particular type and how to win them over. I happened to want a beautiful and refined woman (they really ARE different than average women,) and her unusual techniques worked. I am now dating a classy 10!
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30 of 35 people found the following review helpful.
Whew! So true it's scary
By Lizzy Anderson
Everybody has dreamed of dating better people. But after reading Updating, the dreaming is over and it's becoming a reality. Having the typical "You gotta show me" mentality we have in Missouri, I needed proof. Not to sound arrogant, but I read Updating and now I'm convinced that I can get the best -- and I know how to do it. The author gives studies which back up everything she says. And one of them is that people always underestimate their ability to attract.
As she wrote, because of many reasons, especially lack of self-esteem, we SUBCONSCIOUSLY shy away from making a 100% effort to go after what we want. We only go after who we think we deserve. It's so true. Now I know where to find and how to appeal to the men I want -- and know I deserve. My self image and my love life have improved spectactularly. Read this book and you will soon be hanging with a better class of people too.
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